“from my place within my high castle, i looked out at the scene through windows, that hid all the world’s suffering from my eyes…

...yet still, in this wondrous dreamland, i cried...i drowned myself in my bed”

Current mood: open...for debate

Doing all I can to make this right. No idea what rectify even means. Promise not to take forever. Never been good with goodbyes or even ok with hellos. Trying to take you down. Trying to get myself outta town. Willing to erase it all and leave myself facedown. Parents never warned me and I have no explanation for my actions. Dieing to cause more than a mess. Wanting to be back to where we once were and back to when we didn’t exist. How can it be both. How can I have it all. I keep trying to fix this but halfhearted was never enough and December isn’t closing in on me. I give confessions to strangers and settle in for the winter.

How can butterflies as amazing and beautiful as they are bring such painful sinking feelings.